We have all had our hearts broken. When it happens to you personally, it’s devastating and while people can relate, they aren’t in that moment. The pain is there and it’s real for you. Sometimes it feels like you’re completely helpless and you’ll never get past the suffering. The important things to remember are that there are people there for you and that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel and ways to help you get there. After a break up your emotions will be raw and your mind will be frantic. Maybe you saw it coming, maybe it came completely out of the blue. Either way it will hit you hard and you will be a miserable wreck for a few weeks.
Here are a few ways to assist you on your road to peace and happiness again.
1. Don’t Contact The Ex
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This honestly is rule #1 in a break up. Keep your distance and don’t text, email, meet in person or call. You should probably take them off your Facebook or any other social networks while you’re at it. This doesn’t have to be permanent but while you’re vulnerable to any mean or in contrast loving words, it’s best not to have their voice in your head. The risk of getting back into a relationship when it wasn’t working is high. You may also end up in a war of words causing further hurt and anxiety. Cutting the ties for good when it’s over puts you on a faster path to healing.
2. Respect The Decision
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There is nothing wrong with expecting a reasonable explanation about what went wrong. But don’t demand a never ending post-mortem about the relationship where you pick over the pieces together in excruciating detail. Whatever you do don’t beg for them back or make unrealistic promises about what you will do for them if they change their mind. Respect her decision, no matter how painful, and give yourself some space.
3. Let Your Emotions Out
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Cry, sob your eyes out, scream and yell. Act in whatever way gets you through the pain you may be feeling. Don’t take this part of the healing process away from yourself or it festers within your body. You will naturally feel some negative emotions no matter how essential your break up was. Honor your feelings and know that they will get less intense the more that you let them out. It helps you move past them! Just be careful with how much you dump on family and friends. They will be there for you initially, but if you go looking for pity and sob and sulk for months and months their patience will wear thin.
4. Get a mini or even major makeover
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A breakup means it’s a new chapter in your life, so embrace the change by changing your look up–whether that’s with a new hairstyle or a couple of new pieces for your wardrobe.
5. Acceptance
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You will reach acceptance far sooner by staying away from that person. This strategy relies on time more than anything else but there are ways to move it along. Look at the situation objectively, even if you didn’t agree to the breakup. If they didn’t love you anymore, that’s really sad and you will cry a lot when you accept it. If you both agreed because it just wasn’t working, don’t overanalyze what could have been different. It may take some time for the mind to catch up with reality but in the meantime, accept that the relationship has ended.
6. Take a mini-vacation
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While it would be nice to board a plane to the nearest tropical island, sometimes having a ‘staycation’ can be just as fulfilling. Explore a new area of your town or go out of state to give yourself a change of surroundings.
7. Get your heart rate up
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Hit the gym, go for a run, or take up HulaFit. Whatever it takes to get those mood-boosting endorphins pumping. Plus, think how great you’ll feel in a few weeks with your new ultra-fit body. Win-win!
8. Try To Enjoy Being Single
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After so long of having to always think about someone else’s needs, you now have the pleasure of only having to think about yourself. No more compromises over weekend plans. Relish the chance to enjoy this period of freedom because when the next person comes along things will change again.
9. Find Yourself
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Chances are, you lost a piece of yourself in the relationship. Now is your chance to find you again and this should be fun. This is one of the more positives to your break up so embrace it. There are a lot of personal things that made you special, you just have to find them again and get the feeling back.
10. Have Fun
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When you’re ready to authentically have fun again, get your friends together and go out. Go dancing, go on a drive, go on a roller coaster. Do something that makes you smile, laugh and feel good inside.
11. Forgive and Forget
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Anger is a double-edged sword. As long as you bear someone a grudge, it will eat away at you, and stop you being truly happy. It does mean letting go of your resentment and moving on with your life and hoping they move on with theirs too.
