As we go through “wife diaries” or even “women diaries”, you will then realise why women had been a profound mystery to men most of the time. It is mainly because, for most women, there are at least a few things they tend to camouflage from their boyfriends or husband—even if they have got a “tight bond”. A girls mind is very intricate, and itself may disagree with her heart, which sometimes makes her hide a few things. However, that is not because of the fear in her, but possibly because she needs her own space.
There was a survey conducted in social media, in which the women opened up their “secret diary” and made known what they had been hiding from their husband or boyfriend. Here we have compiled the reports from experts, about what women generally hide from their spouses or boyfriends, to find out fascinating facts. You can find it on your own by going through this article. Perhaps you might see yourself in there as you read it.
Usually, when a woman finds a lump in her breast, an unusual mole or any other embarrassing symptoms, she tends to stay mum or try to hide her anxiety, instead of sharing it with someone.
According to psychologist Kristen Carpenter, PhD, who is the Director of Women’s Behavioral Health at Ohio State’s Wexner Medical Center said that women tend to hide certain troubling concerns from their husband, to protect them, particularly if it feels major.
However, keeping mum about something which is major, and acting as though it does not exist, is not a good idea. She opined that, by doing so, the women are closing themselves off to help and not allowing her husband to see her concerns. Marriage is all about supporting each other and lending a helping hand whenever one of them needs it and hence it is always best to open up in such situations.
According to Jodie Voth, MMFT, who is a therapist in practice in Canada, says that if a woman can’t seem to work through relationship concerns with her husband personally, then she will usually schedule a therapy session and attend it alone. She says that a lot of patients come to meet her alone, without their husband’s knowledge, so as to decide whether the relationship is worth saving or not. According to her, the women hide their therapy sessions from their spouses because they feel it too risky to involve him. Voth is of the opinion that men have to be given equal opportunity to determine the fate of the relationship, especially when it relates to him.
Carpenter said that she constantly has women in her office who complain that they are sexually unhappy. She says that women usually do not or perhaps very rarely talk about sex and that the sex education rarely involves the discussion of pleasure.
Wives generally do not want to tell their guys about ‘between-the-sheets’ activity they don’t like since it is an emotionally charged topic and they have a feeling that it might hurt the feelings of their husband, says Carpenter. She suggests that everyone should have a conversation about sex outside their bedroom, which should be brought up slowly and tell him gradually, what things you like and what things you don’t like.
Women are less inclined to go home and babble about a big raise, a promotion at work or even a developed marathon time.
They do not share their personal successes with their husband because they don’t want a competition between themselves and their man, and they also think that discussing their successes conflicts with the male provider role. According to Carpenter, some men do feel intimidated when they find their wife earning more and having a more potential job than theirs. Carpenter advised that the women should not sabotage their personal successes on a man’s behalf and that she should try to find a guy who acquires their notions of self-worth from a variety of areas, and not just the domains where you are successful.
Detroit-based clinical therapist Tomanika Witherspoon, LMSW, opines that the tendency of women to keep secret bank accounts, may be taught by their mothers and for some it will just be a reserve for the future, in case the relationship does not work. By doing so, it may give the women a sense of security. However, if a husband discovers the secret funds, he may think you are depositing on your marriage to break.
Witherspoon also said that by doing so, the husband might sense betrayal and believe that she may be hiding more secrets from him.
Finances are loaded interest in a marriage, and so it is best to weigh potential outcomes before reserving funds from your partner.
So while you apparently don’t have to reveal everything—after all, that’s necessary to keep your own sense of self. However, holding on to certain secrets can affect the faith and support system of your marriage. If there is a chance to open up for the well being of a stronger and long lasting relationship, you should give it a go.